My niece Lewa and I had a hearty conversation beginning of the year.
She is one of those January babies, (I often carry a deep sympathy for January babies with a smiley face, just at the beginning of the year, they carry the burdens of new year resolutions as well as the burden of realization that they are not getting any younger-aggh all this dished up in the same plate).
So I like to make this process bearable for her by just making conversations; lengthy and short conversations. Although she makes me do the most talking.
I quoted for her these words “I am on the way to who I am not who I was,” from the song “I am” by Kirk Franklin-which happens to be one of my favourite.
I told her the same is true for here; that she is on the way to who she is, not who she was. I told her that I know there can be discontentment in her soul, that there can be longing to go to places which seem out of reach, that there are dreams trapped within her waiting to come alive. In my thinking this is normally because one is in the becoming phase.
So on Sunday morning as I was fixing meals before church I was thinking of this same conversation with my niece and retold it to myself.
(Sometimes there are those words that you mean for somebody else and later on you find you need to tell them to yourself.)
I scribbled words in my journal and I thought to share them today.
I know they will be moments you too find yourself thinking “oh boy I am still here, at the same place I was years ago” but you should remember you are on still on the way to who you are and it is no small thing and usually a process that cannot be rushed. So here it
On your way to who you are
On your way to who you are, you will meet the fault finders. Don’t stop walking because they find some faults.
You will meet the watchers. Don’t be too shy to walk just because they are watching you.
You will meet the admirers. Don’t grow a chip on the shoulders just because they are admiring.
You will meet the ones who just don’t get your dreams. Don’t apologize for your God given dreams and passions.
You will have victories, maybe you will be celebrated for those victories, but still don’t settle.
You will fail too along the way, fall flat on your stomach, experience bruises that will go straight into your heart but you are becoming.
Keep walking,even if you limp.
Pause and heal if you have too but not for too long.
You have no time to settle in your hurts, you have no time to dwell in your bruises.
Just keep walking. You are becoming.
You will see others out-walk you, blooming before you do, reaching the finish line before you do, just remember you are becoming.
In the messy “NOT YET” phase you will need to be patient with yourself.