Sometimes connections happen to us when we are not looking for them. Those can be just as important as the connections we put efforts into creating. They may start as seemingly insignificant, but they can be our doorways to becoming who we are meant to be.
I started high school in a poor performing school, which didn’t have as many resources as the schools in town. My eldest sister decided to move me and my cousin to a better school. The new school didn’t want to admit us at first because we carried the stigma of the other school. My sister believed in us, so she found a way. She took the whole collection of our report cards; from primary school to junior school and testimonials to prove that although we found ourselves in those predicaments we were still capable. After much struggle we were moved to the new school. Sometimes I wonder how I would have turned out if it was not for that single decision my sister made.
And the ordinary connection begins….
I was barely a month into the new school when the principal made an announcement about a national writing contest. Whoever was interested was supposed to register and then show up later that week at the writing hall. I wanted to be part of this contest but I was timid because in the short period I had been in the school, every test I had taken had shown that I was miles behind other students in my class. Naturally I got worried as to what other students would think of me. Nevertheless I shared my desire to participate in the competition with Goitse Buzwani (now Mrs Modise), a girl I had become buddies with.
Goitse urged me to register and I discovered I was the only Form 4 in the registration list, the rest of the students were my seniors. Here I was still lagging behind but trying to chart a path which my peers who I considered more talented were staying away from, I thought to myself “just maybe I am aiming too high, may I shouldn’t be thinking of being part of these.” Self-doubt crept in, I got worked up as the image of my previous school held me back. So I shared my fears with my friend, she looked at me and said “Don’t you worry girlfriend, if this is what you want to do, I will make sure of it. I will walk with you to the writing hall.”
Taking the step forward
On the day of the competition Goitse accompanied me to the hall, as promised. It wasn’t the first time she had accompanied me to the hall, on my first day when I had been timid to go pick the food at the dining hall, she had said to me “the food is for every student and that includes you” and that how we became friends.
“Sometimes, reaching out and taking someone’s hand is the beginning of a journey.
At other times, it is allowing another to take yours.” Vera Nazarian
So we walked to the writing hall and right at the entrance I paused for a moment, reluctant to take the step forward. She must have noticed because at that moment she reached out, held my hand and urged me to keep moving. I felt piercing eyes of the senior student on me, as if they were measuring my worth. I wanted to run away, the only thing that stopped me was her tight grip. I took my seat, she looked at me, wished me well and walked away. Two months later when the results of the contest came out, I came out tops. I found strength and courage to follow my heart desire by an ordinary act accompaniment. All I needed was someone to step out with me.
Years later I still see the power in that ordinary connection
Fast forward to 2015 I tell her about my intention to blog. We are no longer teenagers and she has a mature approach, she calculates risks, questions every details and then she says the same thing differently this time “I know you dear friend, you have got it and you will do it.” The blog goes live, I call her, she packs by the roadside and reads every single word, even the “about page” the things that she already knows.
This gal has since been doing the same thing; supporting my dreams, even the ones that failed. The many times I have been doubtful and afraid to walk across the hall of life, afraid to go to places where my dreams can be fulfilled, this gal has stepped out with me. When I need to go to the battle field I know she will take me there. She has always been the advocate for my dreams. I am not surprised that she became a lawyer and is now head of legal affairs in the company she works for. She has always known a thing or two about advocacy.
Who is in your life?
Many of us get to connect with great people like Goitse, and quite often because these connections happen to us when we are not looking for them, we take them for granted. If you look carefully though these connections may already be in your life and are a necessary part of your journey. If you learn to open your eyes you will find them and they will offer invaluable lessons.
Here is the thing about your life as a dreamer
Whatever you are or whoever you will be, you will need connections to support your dreams.
- You need people who can push you over mountain cliffs (with good intentions) so that you try your wings and start flying. You need people who will say to you “you gotta take this jump, have little faith in yourself.” When you find them, these people will not be worried that you will have a bad fall, because they will wait the other side to catch you and if need cushion you so you land safely.
- You need people who can make your dreams their own and walk you across the hall of success. They become your champions, they will do whatever it takes to help you win.
- You need people who can listen to you when you rave about dreams and when you are still finding your way. The more you talk about your dreams the more they become convincing to you.
Conclusion
I suggest to you that one of the most important components of your journey is building connections. When Jesus begun his ministry he wanted fishers of men, talk about someone who understood the value of connection. He didn’t start on his own, he called the twelve so they can help him fish the thousands. One by one he called them, Simon, Peter, James, Mark, Luke, John…, every one of the twelve had a role to play. Until he had the twelve, he didn’t start the work. I am not suggesting that twelve is your magic number. I am suggesting that you find people you need to connect with, may be you don’t have to find them may be they are already there you just have to recognize them. The question I ask you is who are your twelve or may be your two or three?