The other day as I stood in the queue waiting for my chicken pops order, I overheard a boy and a girll behind me talking about their love for books. I liked them both, at an age where conversations are often centered around who is dating who and fashion, these teens were talking favourite reads. They were exchanging book titles and talking about how in any given day they would choose books. I was awed by every bit of their conversation.
I thought how it would be excellent to feature them on my blog. I had just written the blog post, “ the words we read” where I highlight on how books can build us.
“I could get an insight of how books shaped them. I could ask them ask them to share their story,” I thought. I got to ask, I repeated to myself. I got to ask them, but somehow I came up with a million reasons why I could not ask them.
I didn’t want to appear too forward.
It is not like me to talk to strangers.
How would I start the conversation?
So I never got myself to talk to these amazing teens. After they left, I felt a strong sense of defeat. Why couldn’t I just ask? Why was it too difficult to say, “ hi, I would like to feature you in my blog. Would you be interested?”Why couldn’t I just ask?
Asking for help can be a very daunting tasks for most of us.
It is often difficult to work up courage to knock on doors, but what you ought to remind yourself is that behind those doors there could be treasures waiting for you, and you won’t access them until you knock.
Until you knock you wont experience the joys of open doors.
You have to knock one door at a time. Because the truth is; no one is equipped with all the skill-sets needed to accomplish all they dream of. They will be gaps in your life journey and those gaps sometimes can be filled by a simple step of asking for help. May be you are not as successful as you ought to be because you have never stopped to ask for help.
May be you have not yet realised your dreams because you have never asked for help.
Sometimes before your dream happens you have to knock on many doors. You have to stop and talk to teenagers making conversation in queues. You have to send e mails around, you have to drops CVs to offices written “no vacancy.”
The one thing that differentiates winners and failures is the ability to knock on doors.
If knocking on doors is what is required why do we hold back?
Here are two reasons we hold back;
1. Our fear of the answer “No”
Most of us take very badly to the answer “no.” We misinterpret it to mean rejection and to mean that we have to stop trying. No simply means you have to keep going. You have to be willing to take no for an answer.
The “nos” will come but it is not for you to stop knocking, your job is to keep knocking. Some doors will be banged on your face making some “nos” harder than the others, but you got to keep knocking in spite of that.
They will be moments when you will go down in flames but you have to be willing to embrace those moments. Every person who has been successful has been willing embrace the “no” moments. You have to come to that place where you can accept that no is still an answer. Sometimes you will have to jump over barbed wires before you get a yes, but even then keep knocking. Thomas Edison had it right when he said, I have not failed I have learnt ten thousands ways that do not work “. Even if the ten thousand doors will not open, one will open.
2. We don’t want to appear vulnerable
We are afraid to ask because it puts us in a very vulnerable position. We hate to appear needy. We know asking for helping means we have probably come to wits end. And what if you have come to wits end? It is okay to come to the end of ourselves. It is okay to need help, we all do at some point in our lives. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness.
We tend to think that courage is demonstrated only when we do exploits, when we achieve greatness, courage is also demonstrated when we can’t do anything by ourselves and then we raise a needy hand, a hand that says “can you help me take this walk please”. That too is courage. Courage says, “I am drowning can you please reach for me.”
Everyone who succeed must first succeed at asking for help.
We should never be afraid to ask for help. We should learn from children; they ask and keep asking. While parents keep saying no they keep pushing the buttons. You need to be able to ask for help.
Conclusion
You won’t be able to push your dreams forward without asking for help. You have to be bold enough to tap on those doors, other doors may not open but surely those bold enough are the ones who will get that one door open. The only thing that may be keeping you from winning might be your inability to ask for help. In what areas in your life do you need help?
Go ahead and work up the courage to knock. You have to trust that doors will open for you, that God will open doors for you, but those doors will not open unless you knock.
Which doors should you be knocking to help you towards your dreams?